Random jottings after a visit to the dentist

We have Ribena fields round here, well not literally of course but blackcurrants which are reputed to go to make Ribena drinks. Since apparently 95% of all cultivated blackcurrants in this country go to Ribena, it’s certainly a strong possibility. They were harvesting yesterday and driving past the fields to go to the dentists, the smell was so strong you could eat it. Like a huge fruit pie drifting across the Somerset sky, the scent of hot fruit followed me for half a mile or so. I was positively salivating, not a response I normally expect as I headed to my appointment in the chair.

Arriving in the dentist’s waiting room finally, there was once chair left, three being taken up with the possessions of a lady in her seventies, who sat amongst the debris on the fourth like an elderly mermaid in a sea of packages. My chair, then, was opposite a large fish tank. A notice above informed of the existence of some large fish called Plecos within its' bubbling waters. The dentist appeared and summoned the lady into the surgery by her surname. “Oh such formality, I don’t usually get called Miss, Sarah please, on such a hot day”.

Another older lady appeared, puffing up the stairs, and sat in the ,now vacant, seat to the side of the tank. “I hates coming here; I do it twice a year though. Not usually this hot, Phew. These fish are supposed to be restful." She had the demeanour of a retired farmer and wore sensible shoes which she removed as she sat down. “’Tis bad on the feet this weather.”

We passed a few minutes chatting about the fish and jointly noticed a large orange coloured one chasing what looked like two Angel fish. “I really hates bullying; stop it, naughty thing”. The Plecos were huge compared to the other fish and sat like large blobs of spotty jelly at the back of the tank. "Growing well, isn't 'em?" We resumed reading our respective newspapers.

Five minutes later and in burst a third elderly lady carrying two large and heavy bags. A slight thing, she wore a large denim sunhat at a jaunty angle and a flowered suit. “Another victim” she proclaimed. “Still, nice to sit in the cool here I suppose”, she sighed and began to look around her.

“Oh no! I see they have brought those disgusting fish up here now. I managed to avoid them when they were downstairs. Oh, I can’t bear to look at them, they're so revolting.” The fish lovers continued with their newspapers and didn’t say a word.

After my unusually event-free appointment I was shown out by the new nurse, the previous one having left in search of promotion. “Goodbye, nice to see you,” rang the dentist’s voice behind me.

"What he really means is nice to see the back of me,” I countered to the nurse. “Oh I don’t think so”, she smiled a kindly smile. I told her that this chap had been tending to my teeth for the best part of 15 years, and it was always an uphill struggle mostly due to my Fibro and ME. I thought I was the Patient from Hell.

“Oh, no no no. He did say you were sort of interesting, but I assumed he meant your character not your teeth!”