Friday, October 06, 2006

Lost for Words

A close friend yesterday remarked how my life is turning into a saga resembling that of a Deric Longden book. Well thank you Di. but actually she is right. Lost for Words is about right just now. My Mother isn't dotty or even charming like Deric's but there are a lot of similarities. I have spent a whole week now trying to sort out living arrangements/care/help for my mother, most of it done from the end of my telephone. I am all talked out as they say. I am also more clued up about pensions, care homes, costs of maintaining care and how to make a successful choice of accommodation. Also similar to Deric's saga is that my mother doesn't know any of it. Not in this case because she is not capable but rather because mentally she is too capable and choices might have to be made at some later stage and I want to be prepared and know what I am talking about without unknowingly having the wool pulled over my eyes.

Right now she is geared up for six weeks rehabilitation. Today I have to talk to her Social Worker along with her and this will involve a 3 -4 hour drive depending on traffic, meeting in the emergency care home where she is living right now and then trying to persuade her that a move to another care home, albeit short term, really is her best option. If she agrees (and to be fair she looks quite likely too at last, although at the start of the week it seemed she would refuse) it will be the first thing has agreed to this week. I have already been told that if she doesn't she will be 'booted out' next week and more or less left to her own devices as she has refused all forms of help so far.

In the last 48 hours I have had a panic attack, 2 severe headaches and forgotten where I was supposed to be. I have not like Deric lost my car but it has been a close run thing. Right now I am lost for words as I keep replaying how I will be trying to coax and cajole and justify all the while keeping an eye out for hidden agendas and trips-ups and also trying to persuade an 87 year old that she has to listen to a young African man and that he really does have her best interests at heart as do we all. Good thing WH is doing the driving, as I can't remember at all where the care home is or how we got there.

4 comments:

Highlights from two years of blogging. said...

I hope I didn't upset you Jas!

I'm sorry things are so rough right now... let yorself cry and scream if you need to (it helps!)

Sending you much love and hugs...

D xxx

Anonymous said...

Golly, a tough time indeed. I hope it works out for all.

Unknown said...

Di, 'course you didn't upset me!! Nice for my life to be compared to that of the famous Deric!!

Thanks for the good thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I sympathize, was 3,000 miles away from my sick mom with a doc on the phone to me because she would not go in the hospital. I got real tough, worked for the last 3 days of her life.

Jas you can't do the impossible, you are being a very caring daughter. Hugs to you.