The Iris Murdoch effect

or some things I have heard over the last few days spent with my Mother:

I think I was born in 1938 or was it 1976?

I'm not telling that woman how much I earn, she's got a loud voice.

That woman didn't even know how to cook a baked potato, she said you didn't peel it.

Look I can stand up, does that count as walking?

I gave that cleaner £50 for doing the laundry, she said it was a bit much.

I haven't been down stairs for 5 years, I did go last week once.

I couldn't eat another thing, unless it's pudding.

Me, confused? I'll have you know I 'm bringing up 2 small children on my own.

I've never eaten a sandwich in my life, well maybe a prawn one.


The EMI bed beckons.