Saturday, November 18, 2006

Down in the dumps

Sometimes this ME just gets to you. No matter how upbeat and cheerful you try to be the reality of having a debilitating illness for 14 years just gets to you.

This is one of those times. My GP suggested Prozac and I went as far as collecting the prescription but it just sits on the cupboard unopened. I realised that nothing could be that bad to make me take a drug like this with all it's attendant risks of suicide and goodness knows what else side effects. It might have had some effect on my pain but somehow I don't think so.

I feel like I have slipped back 10 years, I'm sleeping about 16 hours a day, the smallest task is so tiring and my pain level is through the roof. I have night sweats like I have never had before then 10 minutes later I am shivvering. Brain fog is so bad I can't get the right words out, trying to offer WH bread and butter pudding for dessert tonight I actually said steak and kidney pie! The RA is worse too but then I have had no treatment for about 3 months so it would be wouldn't it?

I haven't even got the energy to make another
video to complain about all this constructively.

I remember a net-friend of mine whose motto is 'this too shall pass' , I just wonder how much longer I have to wait.

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